2009, where have you gone?

Is it me or as you get older do the years just seem to fly by? I know Christmas has come and gone, but I really don't know how that is possible. I am stuck somewhere in time......like August.


Christmas was interesting this year....I missed out on all the hoopla as my focus was on our wee little one. Christmas Day was spent dealing with a deluge of water coming into our basement from our drain pipe (thanks to JVD and our neighbors upstairs, Jim and Lynne, for shoveling 14 + inches of soggy melting snow off the roof...I think they rescued us all from a huge catastrophe!) and then hitting the road through rain, sleet, snow and ice to get to Chicago.


We actually made it to Madison, WI where we introduced JVD2 to his first hotel experience. :) And we proceeded to have a fabulous time introducing little JD to his cousins, Aunt and Uncle and getting doted upon by Nana. He was spoiled with affection. :)

I love Christmas and though I am bummed I did not put up a tree or put up stockings or wrap a plethora of gifts, the true meaning of Christmas rings ever more true as I conclude the end of December feeling oh so blessed and grateful and thankful for all we have been given and all that has transpired this past year.


Clearly, this year is marked by the great event known as BABY DWORAK. :) From the surprise realization that we were, indeed, having a baby. To the ups and downs of pregnancy, to the ups and downs of giving birth, to now having our own little bundle of joy forever known as Joseph Valentine Dworak II. To quote JVD I, "He is the best gift ever." So very true.


There are so many thoughts in my mind these days....so many things I don't want to forget. I still very much intend to write out JVD2's birth story. I so very much want to jot down all the amazing little feats little JD is accomplishing these days....from scooting across his crib, to now raising his legs high in the air and kicking up a storm, to being able to lift his head up high, to discovering him sucking on his little thumb a few nights ago, using his little hands to grab onto a toy, the cute way he gazes at his mobile, to the sweet moments we have when we just chat about life, he coos and smiles and makes wonderful sounds, and the peaceful way he goes to sleep.

But time has just been moving so fast! Hard to believe that little Joseph is now 12 weeks old. Just a few weeks ago at his 2 month appointment, he weighed in at 10 lbs 11 oz and grew 3 inches since birth (now 22.5 inches long...probably even longer as I write this)....a week later he was already over 11 lbs. Sadly, I have already had to put away some of my favorite little baby outfits as he no longer fits in them. :( And the clothes that were HUGE on him now fit him like a glove. I am grateful for how healthy and strong he is! Especially as we face hernia surgery next week. I look at him now and he has plumped out beautifully! Full round rosy cheeks and wrinkles of fat up and down his legs and on his wrists. But I also don't want to forget his sweet newborn smell, the super soft hair that covered his whole body when he was born, how long and lanky his little limbs were, how he barely fit in his carseat..... he has grown so much in such a short time!


Here is a video I took well over a week ago...but it is the latest installment! www.danielledworak.blogspot.com







Next week will be his hernia surgery. I get teary-eyed thinking about my little boy getting prepped for surgery :( but I know he is in good hands.

Here's to a happy and healthy 2010!

2 months old already.....

My my how time flies....our little guy is already 2 months old.

Someday soon, I am going to devote a post to recap my pregnancy, JVD's birth, these past several weeks of getting to know my little son.... Mostly for my benefit...just so I can record all those little details I may so easily forget as our little boy continues to grow....

But, for now, here is a video of JVD2 at 2 months. He likes blocks. :)

www.danielledworak.blogspot.com

Much to be thankful for.....

....especially thankful for our little guy. Here are two videos taken late last week....


http://www.danielledworak.blogspot.com/

(these videos are taken with our regular camera's video feature....with this one, I realize I need to keep our camera turned horizontal....will keep that in mind in the future!)

6 weeks old

This picture was taking last week....now little JVD 2 is 6 weeks old today. So let me take a little time to tell you a little bit about our Joseph Valentine Dworak II....

Little Joseph has a feisty, determined personality....he definitely tells us what he thinks....if he likes something or dislikes something, trust me, you will know! But he also LOVES to cuddle and snuggle and be held for long periods of time. He is a little snuggle bunny who is equally sweet as he is feisty. We love our little boy! He already is lifting and holding his little head up....kick his legs up....loves to play with his hands together....is just beginning to smile. He has a veracious appetite - I have a feeling I will be forever be telling him to "slow down" at the dinner table. In the last week or so, he has definitely become more alert and just LOVES to look at everything around him for long periods of time. He is taking in the world around him and especially loves to look at lights and ceiling fans. Makes me think we should take a field trip to Home Depot! :)

One question we get a lot is "What are you going to call him?" Joe, Joey, Joseph?!?! Well, let me tell you....JVD 2 has many different names depending on the day...

I like referring him as JVD 2 on blogs and facebook because I refer to his Dad as JVD....seems only fitting. But JVD and I have coined quite a few nicknames depending on the circumstances....

"Mr. Grumps or Captain Grumpers" when he is especially cranky.

"Mr. Toots" - self-explanatory

"the saddest boy in the whole world" - when he is crying after being put to bed

"Cuddle Bunny" - when he is his most cuddly self

"Little Guy" or "Baby" - Baby is my default because I called him Baby in utero

"J-man" or J-dawg" - for his oh so cool and suave moments

"Hey Buddy" or "Oh Friend" - when we are trying to soothe him

Others have taken to calling him "J2" or "Deuce" and there are a myriad of other names people have taken to calling him....I tend to call him "Little Joseph" a lot....mostly because as I get to know him, he definitely is a little Joseph! He is both a little version of his Dad not to mention he often looks like an old soul....like a little old man at times - especially when he is particularly upset with something- which happens many many times during the day. I mean, during his most cranky moments he reminds us of Andy Rooney on 60 minutes during his complaint-filled monologue and in his most sedate moments he has such a serious contemplative look about him - (which I know will shift once he begins to voluntarily smile and laugh ). So though Joseph may sound so formal to some, at 6 weeks old it just somehow fits his personality....Little Joseph is one of my preferred nomenclatures.....

Aside from Joseph, after 6 weeks of getting to know him, the name we tossed around and have landed on calling him or referring to him most often in public settings will be "J.D." I like J.D. because it has the J for Joseph....but D can stand for both Dworak OR Danielle. Personally? I like having a little bit of me in the name....having carried him for 37 weeks and endured labor and delivery, thank you very much!

J.D. Dworak is a solid name for someone who is proving to be a pretty solid little man. :) We have enjoyed getting to know Joseph Valentine Dworak II in the last 6 weeks and cannot wait to see what the next weeks, months and years will hold!

one month and one day old....

Our little guy is one month one day old. Here is a video! www.danielledworak.blogspot.com

3 weeks old.

Today our little guy is 3 weeks old. 3 weeks have already gone by? Crazy fast!

Here are some things to note about Joseph Valentine Dworak II.

1. At our 2 1/2 week Dr's appt. he weighed 6 lbs. 7 1/2 oz. and he measured 1/2 an inch longer than the previous appt.. He is growing! Our pediatrician things we are doing an outstanding job. :)

2. We determined that our little guy does have a case of colic. Not severe. He doesn't cry all day - for which I am thankful! But it still hard at times. For him, it seems to be due to neurological immaturity (according to our Dr. this is more common in babies who arrive on the early side). He encounters all this external stimuli all day long and he reaches a point late at night when he doesn't know how to internally handle it all....and he cries and screams and he tenses up and he is inconsolable...until you finally hold him tight and he begins to relax again. Poor little guy. I so wish we could teach him to self-soothe, but for now, he is just an itty bitty person trying to figure it all out. Basically this means that he has to be held for a few hours late at night/early in the morning versus being able to sleep in his crib....which we are not enjoying all that much, truthfully. :( And I am a bit too tentative to try to put him in his crib when he has calmed down because I do not want his fussiness to start back up again. So, we are trying to figure this all out, too. :) I am hoping it will begin to subside in the next month.

3. He may be little, but he is strong! He really does not like a pacifier...we only use it when we really need a way to try to soothe and quiet him but more times than not, he will take his little hand and bat the pacifier out of his mouth! He can already move his head from one side to the other when we place him on his tummy. He also kicks himself out of his swaddle.....he is a little houdini. We wrap him tight only to find his blanket completely unraveled around him in his crib.

All in all, it is fun seeing glimpses of his little personality shining through. He is sweet with a tenacious spirit and we look forward to getting to know him more each day!

October 22.

October 22 is a date I had firmly ingrained in my head. "When are you due?" October 22. I probably said the date October 22 at least 5 times a day every day since we announced we were having a baby. Which has made October a very strange month for me. I had my eyes focused on the end of the month, but everything began to unfold right at the start.


My blood pressure was high. Alarmingly so. And so I was sent to the hospital to do overnight testing to see if I had preeclempsia on September 30. Sent home. Rechecked again at the Dr.'s office on Monday, October 5. I headed to the Doctors on that Monday with a shopping list in hand for what I was going to pick up at Target on my way home that afternoon. I had no idea I would show up at the Doctors and have the OB GYN tell me that she recommends I head to the hospital to have this baby.


I think I looked at her and said, "like, now?"


Yes. Now.


So....I then had to call JVD and tell him that we were heading to the hospital to have this baby.

At some point, I will want to write out the whole birth story....but so much of it was not the most pleasant of memories for me. It was, by far, the hardest thing I have ever been through. I have never felt so helpless....but I also cannot recall a time in my life when I have had so many people praying and pulling for us. And yet there is a great paradox because even though my week's stay at the hospital was not at all what I had pictured or imagined when I envisioned having a baby, at the end of day on Tuesday, October 6, I had a beautiful baby boy. He came out crying with a great set of lungs and was given a fabulous clean bill of health. He very much still is such a little guy, but he has a tenacious spirit about him that I already love.


So on this October 22, I celebrate the little boy who entered our home and our hearts.


Here is a video I took last Thursday....amazing how much he changed in just a matter of days and how much he has even changed since!

9 months

36 1/2 weeks. 9 months pregnant. Baby will be considered full term in just a few more days....

So this has been a bit of whirlwind of a week...actually all of September has just completely flown by. It was jam packed month! And so this blog entry is going to probably be a long one as I just relate everything that has been happening recently. If not for your benefit, then for the benefit of my pregnancy clouded brain. :)

First of all...this week. This week is clearly one that did not turn out as I expected it to. As I highlighted at the very beginning of this pregnancy, I have 'white coat syndrome' - and so I have been monitoring my blood pressure in between Dr.'s appointments. Well, last week was quite the full week. I felt like I was on a mission to get everything done...which really is an impossible task...but I tried! JVD put up the crib and so we were able to finish the baby's room....
We had 20 volleyball players over at our little condo for spaghetti dinner...I was on a roll getting things accomplished and squared away at work..... So, when I remembered to take some time to take my blood pressure....it was higher than normal. Above 120...and then it hit the dreaded over/90 a couple times before settling in the low 80's. Hmmmm. I remember hearing that over 90 was NOT GOOD. So, what do you think happens? I see the "90" numbers and ofcourse my heart starts to beat faster and feelings of anxiety totally heighten....not to mention that the baby was quieter than normal all weekend. Definitely moving at times...just not as pronounced. Usually this baby is quite the mover and shaker at various points during the day (and nighttime, even) and so I was beginning to grow anxious.....


Take all the above into consideration and then imagine receiving some very devastating news on Sunday night. Our friends' daughter was due to have their first grandchild this week, but the baby died at 39 weeks over the weekend. Devastating does not even begin to describe the depth of emotion surrounding such sadness and loss. My heart grieves (and continues to do so) for our friends and their daughter and son-in-law. They, like us, have been anticipating finally meeting their little one for these past several months. So, amidst tears of sadness for these friends whose excitement at the prospect of being grandparents had been so palpable - I totally could not help but feel complete fear over all the unknowns, not to mention fear about my blood pressure and all that could mean....

So, Monday was a tough day. High blood pressure. Tears of sadness for these friends and co-workers of ours. Tears of fear for me and this baby....but I have a wonderful husband who helped set me at ease. I have wonderful co-workers who prayed for me. I have a wonderful health clinic with a nurse line and the nurse told me, "relax, you are ok!" And the baby resumed his or her super active ways which was the most comfort-inducing feeling of all.

My blood pressure was still "up" on Wednesday morning at my routine Dr's appt. -and so my midwife ordered blood tests and urine tests....just to make sure all is well. The blood pressure issue is not great....but my levels are not sounding off red alerts just yet. I have mild swelling, but nothing major. No headaches. No vision changes. All reasons to just take a deep breath and know that all, right now, is well. And can I just say how well cared for I feel by the medical profession? My midwife called me this weekend just to check in and see how I was doing....

So this leads us to Wednesday afternoon. As my blood pressure was going to be taken in the afternoon, I opted to bow out of a meeting related to "swine flu contingency plans" as I did not think the topic of conversation would help set me at ease. My supervisor came in after the meeting to update me on what was discussed.....and then she said, "those of us in the meeting decided that with four weeks left in your pregnancy, and confirmed cases of swine flu on campus, why put yourself at risk for swine flu? We totally think you should consider working from home."

I did not see that coming! Ofcourse my midwife told me to do it....and JVD thinks it is a huge blessing as it will probably help me relax and lower my blood pressure, too. Much like the medical profession, employers these days often get such a bad rap...but I have been completely blown away by the support and care I have received from my boss and my co-workers during this entire pregnancy. The option of working from home until Baby Dworak comes is just icing on the cake at this point.

But can I just say what an odd feeling it is to pack up my belongings from my office knowing that I will not be returning to that space until January 2010? As far a spaces go, I spend a lot of time in my office each week. I really like that space a lot. :) To suddenly not be heading there each weekday morning is weird.... not to mention that I really LOVE where I work and who I work with and what I do...all the human and personal interactions I receive each day at work are so wonderful. Though I know working from home these next few weeks is a huge gift...I am a bit sad about it, too.

So here I am....I have my list of work-related to-do's I intend to tackle...from home....this week. But now that my office is organized in preparation of my leave and now that I will be at home working off site, there is a part of me that feels quite good that if Baby Dworak decides to arrive on the early side, all will be well.

And so, on this early Sunday morning as I find myself awake way earlier than I intended to be, I am choosing to focus on feelings that "all will be well." There are never any guarantees in this life and there is so much about what transpires day to day that does not make any sense. This is true of all the difficult and tragic experiences people - those I know and those whom I do not - face day to day. But even amidst all the uncertainty and doubt that stirs in my soul, I do believe in God's goodness and love. All will be well.

Baby's Room

Baby Dworak's room is finished! Notice how he or she is already starting their very own library of books. :) A huge thanks to family and friends who showered us with gifts that will help Baby Dworak feel loved for, cared for and quite at home in their urban home.

countdown

My sister, Kerry, and I in Chicago.

The beginnings of our baby's room.

Coming together....

Warm chocolately walls and orange curtains....a bit unconventional, but I want BRIGHT colors in this room....especially during the winter months! I walk into this room and I just smile. :)

So....this is going to sound like a strange analogy, but I feel as though I have a ticking time bomb in side of me ...I know this baby will decide to initiate his or her delivery into this world sometime in the next 6 weeks or so, but I have no idea WHEN it will be....and it is so strange to know that this major event will be unfolding but not have a clue when it will exactly take place.

34 weeks....only 6 to go? Or less? Or more?

I feel pretty good overall....but quirky things are happening - like the fact that my fingers in my right hand are all numb and tingly...with "pins and needles" type of a feeling on and off....a bit of edema and carpal tunnel....all pregnancy related due to the increasing amount of fluid in my body. I had no idea this would be something I would experience. I look forward to having feeling in my right fingers again...it definitely makes typing difficult and writing thank you notes pretty challenging.

Just returned from Chicago where Baby Dworak was thrown his or her very first party. It was a beautiful weekend...beautiful weather....My in-law's did a fabulous job hosting and it was wonderful to see my mom and sister and the wonderful suprise of having my friend, Courtenay, fly in from Connecticut to surprise me. I was suprised.....she arrived at my mother in law's house while I was visiting with my mom and when I saw her I thought I was tripping on some bad icecream.

These days I feel like things are both coming together.....and yet there is still so much to do. I feel pretty organized with work-related tasks, but my desk is in serious need of being cleaned and cleared of papers and to do's. Likewise the bag I carry back and forth from home and work is just a mess...I have pieces of mail and Doctor's forms and I just want to clear it all out and organize it all! On the homefront, Baby Dworak's room is coming together.....we just need to set up the crib. :) And I need to make a list of the essentials we should buy before baby comes. I also realized this week that I should probably have a bag packed for the hospital, I should make an email list of all those I want to notify when baby arrives, I want to make sure my house is clean before I go into labor...etc. etc.

But I now, it will, as with everything else, come together. :)

Not too much longer....

Some things to note in the last few weeks:

We enjoyed our summer getaway to Montana very much.....this is a picture of me at the top of the Storm Castle hike. We thought it would be an 800 (1000 foot at the most) elevation gain....it ended up being 1900 feet. Pretty much uphill the whole way...switchbacks back and forth. I had to take a few good breaks...even stopped towards the top to eat my PB&J sandwich...but I made it! As we passed a few hikers on our way down, they would ask how much further to the top...then they would look at me....and you could see the wheels spin in their head as they realized "if SHE can do it...then certainly I can make it to the top!"

And pic of JVD....

And a video, too!

Took a day trip to Yellowstone and saw two coyote and two Bison on our hike....extremely awe-inspiring to be out in the middle of a field in Yellowstone, away from cars and roads. Looking forward to exploring some other hikes next summer.

We returned a week ago and what a full week it has been. I had a cold...bummer. I had a 3 hour glucose test...which turned out to be negative (meaning, GOOD! :) ) and JVD and our friend John painted the baby's room (yay!) The room is now the color of melted chocolate icecream....warm and yummy. We went to Ikea and bought some colorful and fun rugs and accessories and I look forward to this coming weekend when we can put everything back into the room and organize it all.

9 weeks to go, folks!

I must say I appreciate being pregnant in this day and age of technology. I have updates sent to from "what to expect.com" and "babycenter.com" and without fail on any given day, I will begin to wonder if what I am feeling is "normal" and I check my gmail account and lo and behold, there is an email from one of those baby sites that inform me that I what I am feeling is, indeed, normal. Like this week for example....I feel like my lungs at times feel so tight and constricted...is it because of my lingering cold.....or why do I feel so short of breath? Ta da! Woudn't you know I have an email article from 'what to expect' that talks about shortness of breath....which is normal as my uterus is pushing up against my lungs making it more difficult to get a full breath in these days. How nice!

Overall, I do feel more "weighted" down these days. My midwife is completely pleased with the amount of weight I have gained with this pregnancy....not too little, not too much...just right. :) But even with being just right I have now gained almost 25% of my total weight...which is crazy! And it is all centered in one main area...which is also crazy!

But there are some really cool things happening, too. The baby's movements are so much more distinct. I can definitely tell when he or she is hiccuping. I can definitely tell when he or she is moving around/changing positions. I can now feel a foot (I think it is a foot?) that likes to push out on my right side right below my ribs. And, with envisioning the baby's room and unwrapping a pack of onesies that someone bought for us and seeing the teeny tiny little sample diapers I received from Target - there is something in me that is excited to see our little baby in one of those onesies, wearing one of those itty bitty diapers and sleeping in his or her crib in the room we are preparing for him or her.

I am not so excited about the Labor and Delivery part of this adventure....but I am sure it will be well worth it to finally meet our son or daughter!

pieces coming together

Had a Dr.'s appt. on Thursday- all is well....baby is moving and shaking and growing.....as I continue to expand. I underwent the glucose test to indicate whether I have gestational diabetes. Normal results are 70 - 129. My results came back at 132.....Hmmm..... So, this means I have to do a THREE hour test next week so they check my insulin levels once every 3 hours.


Since my original reading was not too far off the "normal" range, I am hopeful that the results of the three hour test will all come back normal. Since I had my Dr.'s appt yesterday and was heading to Montana for vacation, I did ask if I should do anything? Monitor anything? Apparently not. So, for now I am going to hope that I do not have gestational diabetes and that all is well. Even if I do have it, I am EXTREMELY grateful for the wonderful prenatal care I have.

On another note, I am so happy how details related to this little Baby are all coming together....things I worried about 3 months ago are all resolved. A big concern was childcare. Who will care for little baby when I return to work?

Sidenote: I really do want to return to work. :) I love my job! I love who I work with and I love the students who I have the pleasure of helping achieve their educational goals. I know it will be hard to return to work once I have this little baby whom I am completely certain I will love a thousand times more than my job. But, I have worked at Bethel for over 7 years and I am in a great fit and a smooth groove with all things job-related. Not to mention that living in a state where I feel I am just trying to survive the 6 months of winter a year, I know my job keeps me both sane and productive. I need a reason to get out of the house when it is 10 below zero. I need the great social interactions that my job provides to feed some life into me. My job is equally work and equally a source of community. So, I feel a huge peace about this decision that JVD and I have made. Not to mention that I hugely grateful for both the amount of support and flexibility I have in my job as I will be able to work 2 days from home and be in the office 3 days a week.

So, what to do for those 3 days that we are both at work? Well, there is a fabulous Child Development Center down the path from where my office situated. Every few months or so in the time I have worked at Bethel, when walking to and from my office, I have had the pleasure of spotting the Child Development Center kids being walked or strolled along the path by the lake. It is such a cute site to be seen. There are usually a couple toddlers holding hands, one or two toddlers trailing behind the others, another toddler who tips over and falls to the ground. When you spot the entourage of little people meandering down the path, you cannot help but smile. And so, as we began thinking about having a little Dworak, I just knew that I would want my litte one to be part of that cute little entourage of happy little tikes.

I took a tour of the Center back in April and found out I was on a waiting list. Oh no! So I checked out a couple other childcare centers...both of which were really nice. Which, I have to say, completely surprised me. I think I was expecting screaming children and frazzled workers and complete chaos and frenzy. Reality? Both childcare places were clean, calm, peaceful, colorful, and full of joy. I kind of feel like maybe they drugged all the babies and kids to be so happy on my tour? :)

Anyway, there was backup care available if the Child Development Center did not work out, but I really love the idea of being a 5 minute walk from my child. I love that I can choose to stop by during the workday and nurse if I want to. I love that I will be able to spot my own little tike toddling down the path with his or her little buddies in the coming years. I love that the Dworak family will all be able to drive to work/school together.... and so I am extremly happy to have found out last week that Baby Dworak will have 3 full days of care - Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday - at this wonderful Center beginning January. Yippee!

As for other things...finishing registering and reading up on all sorts of baby stuff...I kind of feel like I am cramming for an exam but I have no idea what will be on the test?

Homestretch

I am officially in my third trimester....the homestretch, so to speak. Stretch is an apt word to describe how things are going. I feel as though my midsection is growing by the day....and it actually is, due to the growth spurt of this little Dworak to be.

In the last 2 weeks I met 3 different women who are due a week BEFORE me, but who LOOK as though they are due a month or more after me. Not to mention that a gentleman who was in line behind me in the bank asked if I was due any day.. ...Um, no. Not quite. Yowzers....I am beginning to see and feel how a 5 foot frame poses its challenges when growing a human life. The growth of this baby this past month has been substantial - as it is supposed to be - but really, is there going to be enough room for Baby Dworak in the next few weeks?

26 weeks.....and counting

So time is completely flying right by.....there are some days where I feel like there is so much to do to prepare for this bundle o' joy and other days when I feel like we are in really good shape.

We received a free changing table today....what a wonderful unexpected gift this weekend! It totally matches the crib perfectly (again, free!) ...but the room that is to become Baby Dworak's sleeping quarters has become a storehouse full of baby stuff. Must get this room painted and organized!

I have plans to go register sometime in the next week or two...but truthfully feel a little overwhelmed about stepping foot into a Babies R Us or walking through the baby aisles at Target pregnant....I know this is going to sound completely strange, and I know keep saying this, but I still really can't believe this is happening. I ran into some staff people at work this week who I hadn't seen in months and who were suprised to see that I was pregnant, and I must say, I share their surprise! They look at me...they look at my belly....and I, too, look at my belly and I still can't believe it...that as we are talking about "due dates" and all other baby-related topics, that we are referring to ME and OUR baby! I am also now finding that complete strangers want to chat about Baby Dworak...the tellers at the bank, the cashiers at Target (which, by the way, I am now getting offers of whether I need help carrying my bags to the car - how nice of Target!)...complete strangers ask how I am feeling, whether the baby is moving a lot, when I am due etc. etc.

About this little baby...it is moving... and moving a lot. It likes to move when I want to fall asleep....it likes to move shortly before I wake up in the morning...it likes to move when or shortly after I eat...it especially likes it when I drink orange juice (yum....sugar!)...it likes to move when I am hungry. Not only am I feeling it move all around but I can feel its little body in certain positions. I am not quite sure yet what I am feeling...whether it is a foot or a bottom or a head....but it's definitely something!

As for other news, the past two weekends have been full and fun. A wedding, brunch with friends, lunch with friends, dinner with friends, hanging out with neighbors on our back patio, welcoming new students at Orientation....all reasons why I LOVE summer. You can't help but be out and about and social when the weather is so gorgeous.

Where did June go? And now July?

I am officially 25 weeks along today....the last four weeks have FLOWN by....mostly due to recent travels.

We traveled to Chicago for a family wedding and to pick up baby gear that Baby Dworak's cousins no longer need. We now have a crib, a pack and play, a changing pad, a highchair, lots of baby books, and lots of other misc. things he or she will need....even a potty training seat. :) If only we could start using that right away. :)

We then traveled to Bozeman, Montana where Grandma and Grandpa Jelinek joined us (well, soon to be Grandma and Grandpa :) ) - they were very excited to see us. We did LOTS of hiking, toured Yellowstone, relaxed at home, enjoyed those mountain views....it was a great 9 day break.

And here were are at home again....I hope to post some pics of our recent trips in the next few days. :)

As for the pregnancy front, I keep reading pregnancy books and they talk about a range of emotions you may be feeling during each week and the entirety of your pregnancy. i.e. "You may be feeling excited and want to meet your baby now!" or "You may be feeling anxious and nervous, wondering what you have gotten yourself into...."

My feelings seem to be hovering more in the latter catagory. And then I feel a tinge of guilt that I am not feeling more overtly excited about all this. I mean, we are having a baby! This is a HUGE deal! I think it is not that I am not excited....I think it is more so that I feel there is so much I need to know that I don't know and so much to do that I have not done yet? And these weeks seem to be on speed mode! This is my emotional state. But, if I pause and set these emotions aside, I know that as this little baby continues to move and kick inside me - I am and will be so very very curious to see what he or she will look like and be like....and I know as the weeks fly by that I will be excited to finally meet this little life that will be our son or daughter and I know when he or she decides to make their grand debut, we will LOVE our baby to pieces. In the meantime, I am thankful for the (hopefully) additional 15 weeks or so I will have to work on all the rest. :)

21 week ultrasound pics

Profile of Baby Dworak..... And a itty bitty baby foot.......

I first saw Baby Dworak at 5 weeks when it was a cluster blob of cells with the beginning flashes of a beating heart....

Then I saw Baby Dworak at 8 weeks when it grew into the shape of a plumped kidney bean and had the beginning development of a brain.....

But I am so glad to have now seen Baby Dworak at 21 weeks....to see a skull, brain, heart, two legs, two arms, and see it somersault and flip and move all around......though this all still seems so surreal at times, it seems a little more real now that we have seen its cute little nose and its tiny little foot. :)

Stuff

5 pairs of men's running shoes, 2 pairs of women's dress shoes, 3 bags of clothes, 1 bag of bath towels, 1 bag of sheets, duvet cover, pillow shams, pillows, 1 large red suitcase, lamp, TV, 4 cereal bowls.....

This is everything I am dropping off at Goodwill today.

I know if we were to have a garage sale, we would make some money off of this stuff, but truthfully, I am just glad to be RID of it!

I spent all day yesterday cleaning out our storage room in the basement, organizing it, cleaning out our 2nd bedroom, organizing closets, moving stuff down to storage....all to prepare for the permanent resident who will be moving in with us in October.

I love getting rid of "stuff." It is so freeing. Though I admit, it is way easier for me to part with material items (like shoes, clothes, etc.) then it is for me to part with memories. I have at least 4 large boxes of classnotes and papers from almost two Master's Degrees. All that hardwork...I just can't toss it away quite yet....And then I do hang on to pictures and cards and personal letters and mementos and Christmas cards .....but all in all, I look at our little storage room in our basement and I feel pretty good that all my clothes are in my one closet in the bedroom and all our "stuff" is neatly piled and filed away in an uncluttered fashion.

I believe one of my Marriage and Family Therapy Professors said that cleaning out one's closet can be a spiritual act. I totally agree. Cleaning out our closets forces me to purge things I no longer need...."stuff" that accumulates and clutters the ability to live life more freely....and so it is no surprise that doing so feels so freeing.

So, I begin this Monday morning feeling as though a huge task has been accomplished......a great start to the week!

Half way

20 weeks. I still have a hard time believing that I am pregnant and it is half over already. Crazy!!?!? Seriously, every morning when I wake up and try to turn over to snooze the alarm....(it is becoming difficult to turn over, sit up, hoist myself up).....it's like a new realization every day of ....oh, that's right! I am bigger than my usual self....unable to turn over well....because....there's a baby growing inside me. Still so surreal!

Next week, we will have a scheduled ultrasound. The last one I had was at 8 weeks so I am excited to see what this little baby looks like now that it is no longer resembles a kidney bean. Next week would be the week we could find out if this baby is a boy or a girl...but we will be passing on that option and will choose to wait until October instead.

I confess, however, that I envision having a boy. When I picture this baby, I picture a little boy..... a boy wearing a cute little Cubs baseball cap and toddling around in little khakis and polo shirts one day. So, I realized the other day that I really should begin to envision a little girl, too....because really, it could very well be a little girl! And in all fairness to this baby, I should begin to love it for who he or she may be. :) Seriously, I would love either a boy or a girl....but both our families are not well- populated in the boy department so it would be nice to mix it up a bit. :)


All in all, we are getting more excited at the prospect of meeting this little baby....but it still seems so completely surreal that "this baby" is going to be our son or daughter...and that we will be their mommy and daddy. Surreal and unreal, but I am sure the reality of all this will begin to sink in more in the next 20 weeks. :)

Pregnancy Perks

I am realizing my expanding girth has its perks.

A couple weekends ago, JVD and I attended the Minneapolis DFL convention to nominate R.T. Ryback for mayor. (Side note - political conventions are great places to people watch and observe human behavior). Though we were both "delegates" for our district, we really only cared about nominating R.T. and doing our part in the political process. We sat for over 3 hours, listened to the Convention outline the rules and procedues, were suprised by a guest appearance and speech by Al Franken, R.T. was nominated....I was ready to go home....even though the convention was not yet done.

As we were leaving, a convention usher looked at us and said, "Are you leaving? Can you stay for the parks and recreation discussion?" JVD and I both looked at him, pointed to my stomach and said - "I (she's) pregnant and hungry. We have to go."

The man simply nodded, didn't say another word, and ushered us out the door.

Yesterday, I was flying home from San Diego and was seated in First Class. (Side note - my husband travels quite a bit for his job, and though sometime the travel is tiresome (for both of us) - I'm not going to lie....that First Class upgrade is so worth it! :) ) The choice for breakfast was: A bowl of cheerios with Fruit or an Omelet with Bagel or Croissant and Fruit. By the time the flight attendant reached my row, there was only one of each breakfast options left. The Flight Attendant looked at the gentleman seated next to me and said, "Well, there's one Cheerio bowl left and one Omelet.....who's going to pick first?" The gentleman looked at me and looked at the Flight Attendant and said, "She's eating for two, so she should choose the breakfast she wants."

I totally did want the Omelet....and so I took it! Nice guy. I thanked him for letting me choose. :)

5 years

Next week marks our 5 year wedding Anniversary. I know 5 years is considered a substantial marker of time, but in many ways, I feel like we have been married a lot longer than 5 years....

Perhaps it is because we have already had to replace some of our wedding presents? i.e. new sheets and towels to replace ones the ones that have since become "holey" and "thready."

Perhaps it is because I have known JVD almost 8 years now.....and from the moment I met him, my life set out on a completely new course and direction....

Perhaps it is because (and this is really true)..... I cannot imagine my life without my Joseph Valentine.

I am grateful for our years together....I reflect on the last 8 years (and 5 years of marriage) and I just love every part of our story and the journey that we are continuing on together...I love where we have been and I love how life has, and continues, to unfold. We do not have a perfect marriage or a perfect relationship.... such perfection simply does not exist in any human relationship. But, without a doubt, JVD is my very best friend and the person I look to first for love, support, conversation, guidance, laughter, fun, wisdom, companionship....he is the first person I want to share what's happening with...the first person I want to do things with....the first person I want to spend my time with. I fall asleep everynight happy to have him next to me....and wake up every morning, thrilled to have another day with him.

And so here we are, in beautiful San Diego this weekend, to celebrate 5 years....and anticipate several more (happy) years ahead. Happy Anniversary to us!

Success!

I successfully sold our Cuisinart Food Processor through Craigslist. $85. Sweet. We received it as a wedding gift (my apologies to whoever bought it for us...thank you again....however, we simply have not put it to use). I used it only once....years ago....it is a great appliance, but it has sat unused, stored away in the back of a cabinet, inaccessible and forgotten. It is now going to belong to a retired couple whose 20 year old Cuisinart recently went kaput. They love to make cole slaw. I am happy my unused Food Processor has found a happy home.

And my $85 profit may now be used to help fund the purchase of some (much needed) new items of clothing.....

a sign of things to come?

I had my 16 week check up on Wednesday and hearing the baby's heartbeat is now a regular part of the appt. As soon as my midwife would find the heartbeat, there'd be a swooshing sound and the sound of the heartbeat would stop....she'd find it again, heart beating, another swooshing sound and no more rhythmic beats. She looked at me and said, "you have a very active kid in there....it doesn't want to sit still."

I am relieved that this little baby is fully developed, heart is beating strong and moving all around. But if he or she is this active in-utero, I am wondering if we are going to have our hands full with this little one.

White Coat Syndrome

I have developed "white coat syndrome" over the last couple of years. Everytime I get my blood pressure checked at the doctor's office it is always (alarmingly) high....for a woman of my age and stature. It all started a few years ago when I had a regular Dr.'s appt. scheduled and happened to have received news of a car repair that was going to cost us thousands of dollars before the appt. My blood pressure was high. Understandably. But because of family history and that I was taking the pill which can elevate blood pressure and cause blod clots, my Dr. was a little alarmed. And that, in turn, alarmed me, as they said they wanted me to come back to get it checked in a month. I think I was a little freaked out anticipating an appt. solely for the purpose of monitoring my blood pressure. It was high again.....and that has been the story ever since....

So, something has clearly clicked in my brain where I begin to feel nervous hours before a scheduled Dr.'s appt. I try to put the thought behind me, but it stays prominent in my mind. I arrive at the Dr.'s office, my heart is beating hard and fast, I feel a pressure in my chest, I try to take deep breaths - to no avail -all with the anticipation of taking my blood pressure and fearing a high reading. I have been even more freaked out in light of this pregnancy and knowing high blood pressure and pregnancy is not a good thing.

So, though I am growing this little life inside me, the focal point at the Dr.'s office these past few visits has been my high blood pressure readings and whether or not I have prehypertension or not. I was instructed to take my blood pressure at a different location a few times before my scheduled appointment yesterday....the first time I take it, it is a little high . The second, third, fourth, fifth readings (and so on) are all just fine....117/78 or 113/74. Yesterday, at my appt. it was 146/85....the second reading a few minutes later was 132/82.....and then on my way home I stopped at the pharmacy (the wave of stress associated with getting my blood pressure taken completely gone post appt.) and it was 113/73.

My midwife and OB-gyn both agreed that right now, there is no cause for alarm ....I seem a likely candidate for whitecoat syndrome and we should just throw away the first blood pressure reading....in the meantime, I am still instructed to check my blood pressure away from the Dr.'s office every two weeks....just to be sure....but really can't help but feel like I am a headcase. My mind is clearly affecting my body in this weird way....and now I am wondering if there is a way to cure myself of this Dr.'s office anxiety I have developed? They are such nice nurses and Dr.'s, too....not at all scary or threatening. So, in addition to caring for this developing life, I am also going to try to figure out a cure for whitecoat syndrome....I have so many Dr.'s appts. ahead of me and I would really really love for it to go away!

Baby Dworak.....

There seems to be a slew of frequently asked questions regarding this baby that I will take some time to answer now and in the next few days....

Before I jump into answering questions, I will say that sharing this piece of news with people is pretty fun. The look of complete joy on the faces of friends and co-workers and students is just priceless. People are really, truly thrilled for us....which in turn instills in me a vote of confidence that this is a very good thing. More than one person has highlighted the fact that they feel we will be great parents (thank you! We are hoping so!) More than one person has highlighted the complete awe and wonder surrounding the development and arrival of this little life - and it really does help inspire me. Thanks everyone!

So here are some FAQ's about Baby Dworak -

1. How far along are you? 15 weeks today.
2. When is the due date? October 22.
3. Will you find out the gender? Nope! We are looking forward to finding out in late October!
4. Was this baby planned or a surprise? We are celebrating our 5 year Anniversary next month and had a general timeline for when we figured we would start a family (around the 5 year mark). Based on other couple's experiences, we knew it could happen right away or it could take one or more years.....so, we decided that if it happened right away, all would be well...the timing seemed good....and if it took a little while, all would be well, too. All to say, it didn't take as long as I thought it would. I think I had convinced myself a long time ago that as I was about to turn 33 that it would take a bit of time...not the case.....but grateful for the element of surprise it has given us. :)

Must get ready to head to work so I will compile more answers in the coming days.

Later!

Time keeps on ticking.....

I am having a hard time believing this is the last week of April...although I was quite thrilled to have a good old fashioned thunderstorm roll through this morning. The sound of rain against the window panes is a welcome sound. It means Winter really is, truly, finished for the season.

I have wanted to start blogging again....had anticipated doing it months ago, but then life took an unexpected turn when we discovered we would be welcoming baby Dworak into the world in October. The past few months have been quite a blur....not feeling all too great.....and then just simply wrapping my brain around this pregnancy. I have had 3 Dr's appts, 2 ultrasounds, I have heard the baby's heart beat, my girth is expanding and yet this all still seems so surreal. Exciting! But VERY surreal.

I have had requests from a few family members who will want periodic updates on how things are going in the development of this little one and so I anticipate this blog will become the home for those kinds of updates. However, there is more to me than the baby growing inside me and so it is my hope to get back to blogging periodic notes about everything else that is happening in my world, too.

For now, I am signing off on this relaxing Sunday and plan on cooking myself a tasty grilled cheese sandwich. :)